


Merry Christmas

by Morethancupcake



Series: Sugar and spice [24]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, High School Student Castiel, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, but again nothing graphic, but nothing graphic, good dad John Winchester, mention of homophobic language, mentiong of violence, shipping!john, shipping!sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 09:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3115328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morethancupcake/pseuds/Morethancupcake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Care to explain to your old man why you called your best friend the f-word in front of his whole class, and then got in a fight with his friends ?"</p><p>Dean got into a fight, and probably fucked up his friendship with Cas. Cas he may or may not be in love with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Merry Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> day 25 : spending christmas morning together

"Explain yourself, son." Dean scowls, but keeps his eyes on the ground, holding the pack of frozen peas to his face. His nose hurts like Hell, and no matter what John had said, it feels like it's broken. It feels like his whole body is broken. John doesn't look mad, but he isn't happy either. He's certainly not proud, like the day Dean took a beating to protect Alfie on his way home. He sits right in front of him, and drinks coffee from his mug. "Care to explain to your old man why you called your best friend the f-word in front of his whole class, and then got in a fight with his friends ?" Dean shakes his head. Damn. He did that, didn't he ? He looks at his dad, and all he can see is tiredness. And sadness. Fuck, that's not good. "You know, Dean. I was raised to be a moron. To hate people, and to throw punches. But I raised myself to be better than that." John shakes his head, and Dean feels like the room is too small, now. His dad looks small, and his shoulders are low. "I thought I raised you better, you and Sam. I thought you were growing up to be good men." He puts his mug down, and exhales, long and hard. "You knew the kid is gay, Dean. You told me about it months ago." Dean nods, eyes back to his feet. There's blood on his socks. Probably from his nose, when Balthazar had been pining him on the concrete wall and snarling to his face. "Then why now, Dean ? I thought Castiel was your best friend. Like a second brother. Why did you do that to him ? Was it supposed to be a joke ?" John is expecting an answer. But Dean isn't sure he has one.

"No, sir." He flinches when his dad reaches for the frozen bag to check his face. "I don't even believe the things I said..." He can feel the knot in his throat, and he's sure his dad can hear it too. "I was just angry... And I lost my calm. I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't going to cut it, son." Dean nods again, and closes his eyes. "You're grounded til september. Maybe more. You'll be back from work everyday straight. You'll help me at the bar, and then you'll be on food duty every night. You're handing the keys to the Impala to Sam, for now." Dean's eyes shoots open, and he wants to protest, but his father's eyes are hard and unforgiving. "I have no idea what Castiel has done to deserve this little redneck act you put up last night, but I will not have our name put into shame by a angry little boy." 

Dean swallows and keeps silent. He deserves this. Hell, he deserves worse. All he can think about is the look of hurt in Cas' eyes. "I'm sorry." His hands are shaking a little. "I didn't want to do that. Cas didn't deserve it and..."

"Why did you, then ?" Dean can feel tears in his eyes, and he can't believe he's going to cry, for a boy, in front of his dad. Fuck. "You guys had a fight or something ?"

"He broke my heart, dad." John puts a hand on his shoulder, and Dean feels confident enough to whisper. "I fucking love him. I love him so much, and he comes to me with this boyfriend." He sobs and tries to clean his nose with his sleeve. "I tried not to. I tried to stay calm. But all I could see was their hands, and..."

"And you acted like a caveman." His dad sounds suspiciously like he's fighting a smile, but Dean can't really process the information, because he realizes he just came out. To his dad. Like, now. "Have you ever said anything to him about those feelings you have ?"

"No. No I couldn't." He shakes his head so hard it hurts and he's seeing little stars. "I wasn't sure at first. And then... I had to be ok with it first." John nods. Dean feels a little lighter. "I told him I needed time away from him, because I was going through stuff, and I needed to think. I didn't think he would just replace me so fast, and ..."

"Were you guys..." His dad is obviously far from at ease with the subject, but he asks anyway. "Did anything happen for you to..."

"I kissed him." Dean feels the tip of his ears turning bright pink. "I kissed him, and I freaked out. I didn't think he would just ditch me for this guy, and I didn't mean anything to him." He's still crying, but he feels ok, in a way. He told his dad, and things are still kind of ok.

"You know what I'm going to tell you, Dean. You need to let things cool down. And then you need to apologize to Castiel. No matter what happened, you had no right to do that at a Christmas party in front of everyone. You had no right to do that, period." Dean nods. "You'll stay here today, no need to have Ellen ask questions about your face. Pretty sure Jo already told her the whole story." Dean smiles at that. Yeah, he really isn't looking forward to sit at the Harvelle's Christmas lunch between Sam and Jo, both on Team Castiel since day one. "Stay here and think about a way to clean your mess, son. We'll be home in the afternoon, and we'll celebrate tonight." John stands up and reaches for a plate covered in foil. Dean can smell eggs and bacon, probably his breakfast his dad made before waking him up at dawn to patch him up.

"Thank you sir." He grabs the fork and winces when he opens his mouth to eat. It's not going to be a fun Christmas Dinner. 

"I'll try to get Sammy to talk to you. But it's going to be hard work. You know how much he loves Castiel." Dean keeps his eyes on his food, chewing slowly. His eyes are following his dad around the kitchen, while he busies himself with putting the dirty dishes in the sink and getting his keys, and the boxes full of mashed potatoes, and nerdy salad Sam wants. "And Dean..."

"Yes ?"

"I'm happy you told me, son. I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me about things like that." Dean breathes through his mouth to keep from fainting. This is too much. 

"Thank you, sir."

 

Both John and Sam leave around ten. Sam doesn't even glace in his direction, and Dean is almost glad for it, because he isn't ready for another talk just yet. He limps to the couch, and avoids checking his phone for a little while. He had apologized to Charlie, already, and had tried to talk to Benny during the drive back, last night. They were pissed, still, but Benny had told him to call him for anything, before driving away. Dean just doesn't know what he would say.

He loves the way he didn't need to say much to Cas, for them to work things out together. Cas could just sit next to him and read while he watched a movie, and it made him the happiest guy in the planet. Cas with his beautiful blue eyes and his soft lips. Cas. He's so fucking stupid, and he blew it off. 

He tries to focus on the screen, and not the throbing pain in his eye. Balthazar was a vicious motherfucker, and his hits were lethal. Who would've thought the English guy was such a fighter, under the V-neck and arrogance ? A part of him is happy for Cas, to know someone had shut him up, and had taken his friend's side. Dean is glad Cas' boyfriend is a good enough guy to stand up to bullies and to protect him. Too bad he was the bully here. 

The thing is, he's still in love with Cas. He loves him so fucking much it's unfair. And he knows he messed up. He messed up not telling Cas how he felt. He messed up kissing him, holding his face in his palms, soft and perfect, and then dismissing it as a joke. He messed up so bad. 

The knock on the door stops his lists of mistakes, and he goes to it, getting ready for his friend's disappointment. He just hopes it isn't any of the Novak Brothers. Luke already had a few punches at him the night before, and he's in no hurry to meet the others. 

Castiel is glaring at him under the snow.

 

Dean is still thinking maybe he broke something. It might be a concussion. It would explain the hallucination. Because Castiel is now standing in his kitchen, nursing a mug of instant cocoa. Dean can honestly say he had never felt true fear until now.

"I met your dad at the bakery." Dean nods and figures out the best way to avoid this discussion completely, and maybe even leave the country. Of course, the whole town had probably ordered cake from Gabriel's bakery, and Castiel was always helping out his brother during the holidays. Of course, John had to go and talk to him. Of course. "He had interesting things to say."

"Yeah ?" He sounds like a little girl, and he's too busy having a heart attack to notice. All he wants to do is to beg Castiel to forgive him. To beg him to reconsider things, and to ditch perfect boyfriend-Balthazar for fucked up-Dean. 

"He said you owed me a talk, and an apology, and then he added something else." He drinks from his mug, making a show of taking time before finishing. "He told me you loved me as much as I loved you. And even if you weren't worthy of my time, I should just listen to what you had to say." Castiel's eyes are hard, and a little red. Dean knows his are too. They both have cried a lot, since last night, and probably got very little sleep. "So I told my brothers, who already hate you to death, that I was going to spend today with Dean Winchester. Do you know what that means, Dean ?" A tiny shake of his head. "You better start talking soon."

"I'm sorry, dude." Castiel looks ready to shout, and Dean rushes. "I know sorry isn't even covering it, but I am. I truly am. I know I acted like an asshole, and you deserved way better. You know I don't think these things I said. I just... I just..."

"You just what, Dean ?" The black-haired boy has his hand to his eyes, shoulders slumped, and Dean just wants to reach out, and pull him close. 

"I was just jealous." The silence falls. After a full minute of it, Castiel stands up, and he starts to get rid of his coat. Dean can see fresh tears on his face, and he can't breathe. 

"Let's watch something, I'm done talking for now."

 

Dean puts Castiel's favorite on, and the moment Harry Potter's theme song fills up the place, he can see his shoulders relax. Dean hands him a blanket, and they sit on the couch, still pretty far away, but it's a start. Dean goes to the kitchen and makes them ramen, preparing Cas' favorite without even asking. He knows this stuff. Just like he knows Castiel needed the movie and the time off from the fight. He will need another cup of cocoa and probably a hug, after. He guesses Balthazar will take care of the last one.

Castiel's voice startles him when he's in the process of pouring the soup.

"You can't be jealous, you know ?" Dean pours slowly, wishing for this to be over already. The hold on his heart is too bruising. "Balthazar is my boyfriend, it doesn't mean I'll stop being your friend. You were the one who told me you needed space from me..."

"I didn't think you would find yourself a boyfriend." 

"Balthazar had been trying for a while." Dean looks at him with a betrayed look. "I never told you because it didn't matter at first. But then..."

"Then what ?" Dean knows he has no right to feel hurt right now. "Cas, I kissed you ! And I know I told you it was a joke, and I am fucking sorry I said that, because it was the biggest lie of the century, but I kissed you, it had to mean something to you !"

"Don't you dare, Dean Winchester ! Don't you fucking dare !" Castiel grabs him and now his face is mere inches from his. "You told me yourself it didn't mean anything ! You told me - your words- it was just a game, to kiss high schooler and see them blush, for you and your fucking friends." Dean wishes he could take that back. "You broke my fucking heart that night, and then you had to do it all over again because what, I didn't fall into your trap ? What was that, a game between you guys ?" Dean tries to answer, but Castiel's grip on his shirt moves to his throat. "So yes, I decided to stop pining over my asshole best friend, and to try to be happy. And then you had to ruin it." 

Suddenly Castiel is on the other side of the table, pushing his fingers to his hair. Dean can feel himself starting to cry again, and he hates this so much, feeling like a teenage girl, feeling like he lost everything, feeling so fucking raw and exposed.

"I came out to my dad, today." Castiel stills, and Dean goes back to the two bowls. "I told him I was in love with you, and I fucked up. I'm sorry, Cas. I won't say anything anyore about you and Balthazar. I'll try to make you forget about what I said, so maybe we can be friends again." He puts an extra egg into Cas' bowl, because he knows he loves it that way. ""I'm sorry I said that about kissing you. It wasn't a game, you know. It was never a game, for me."

"But you said..."

"I say a lot of shit when I'm scared, dude." He puts the bowl on the table, and goes to get chopsticks and spoons.

"Is it why you needed time away from me ? Because you fucked up ?"

"I didn't know I could love a boy." Dean's voice is still shaking on that part. "I didn't know it was ok. I needed to think."

"Why did you come to the party, Dean ?" He can hear Cas' voice is near. Probably just behind him, but he can't let himself lose focus now. Finding a spoon is the most important thing in the world right now.

"I wanted to ask you out. Grand gesture and everything." He can feel lips on the back of his neck, so light and soft he thinks it's just another hallucination.

"You're an asshole, Dean Winchester." He starts to sob.

 

They eat in front of the tv, sitting close on the couch. Dean can feel Cas' body against his, and it grounds him. He's wondering, about what it means, if they are ok, if he's forgiven yet. When Cas finally finishes his bowl, he just reaches for Dean's hand, and slots his fingers between his. 

"You need to tell me what will happen now, Dean." His blues eyes are still on the screen, and Dean knows he's feeling scared, and afraid to getting hurt again. 

"You mean what I want to happen ?"

"Yes. I believe I need to know, before I do something stupid."

"What about what you want ?" Castiel smiles, but his eyes are tired. He probably didn't get much sleep last night, and Dean can relate. This is all too draining.

"I want to be able to introduce you to everyone as my boyfriend without you freaking out. I know coming out is a process, and it's hard. But I can't lie to everyone."

"You got yourself a deal." Dean smiles at the sudden wide eyes. "I want you to break-up with Balthazar. Soon." He watches their fingers. "I know I have no right to ask about things, but I don't like the idea of you cheating on him with me."

"Very well. I'll call him later." Dean puts a hand on his shoulder, and tugs until Castiel is resting against him, and he can smell the scent of his shampoo. "I want you to apologize properly to the people who were at the party and had to listen to your homophobic rant. I need you to tell them this is not who you are."

"I will. I swear I will." He holds the other boy even tighter against him. "I need you to forgive me too, one day. I need you to know I never meant any of this."

"I know, Dean." Castiel's eyes are warm, and his smile is soft, just like the one before their first kiss. Dean had been in love with that smile. "It'll take a little time, but I will, I promise." His eyes linger a little on the older boy's lips. "Does that mean we're... boyfriends ?" Dean chuckles at that, and kisses his cheek, softly. Once. Twice. He can't believe he's holding Cas. He can believe he gets to feel his skin against his lips, and his breath on his neck. 

"As soon as you'll end things up with your current boyfriend, I'll be whatever you want me to be."

 

The phone call isn't pleasant. Dean tries not to listen, getting really into washing the dishes and baking cookies. He can hear Castiel screaming at someone, and a few curse, and he tries not to feel worried about it. He just hopes the cookies will help. He made Sam's favorite, chocolate and caramel, because might as well try to get things right with his little brother, too. When Cas comes back, he goes straight to Dean's arms, and hugs him for a while, rocking them both.

"He didn't like it much, uh ?"

"No he didn't." Castiel looks tired, and on edge. Dean smoothes the cotton of his shirt on his back, marvelling at the muscles and bones he can feel, marvelling at Cas. "You baked cookies."

"I baked cookies." Dean can feel himself blush when he smiles, and Castiel is even worse. They giggle when going back to the couch, and they blush a little more when Dean rubs his nose against Cas'. Castiel is almost purring in his arms, and it's so easy to lay down, kissing his cheek. Running his lips to his ear, kiss again. It's soft an easy. It's so tender and sweet he wishes it could last forever. Then suddenly Cas, his boyfriend Cas, is kissing him, and Dean Winchester is seeing stars.

 

"You have to be fucking kidding me !"

"Language, young man !"

Dean wakes up suddenly, and groans when the sudden move brings tears to his eyes. His face fucking hurt. Between kisses, they both fell asleep, bellies full of soup. It was a Hell of a nap, since Sam and his dad are back from aunt Ellen, and the younger Winchester is now glaring at them. The clock on the DVD player says it's almost 4pm, and it's dark and cloudly outside.

"I expected better from you, Cas." is all Sam manages to say before smirking at them. Dean can see his phone still in his hand.

"You better not get that picture anywhere, dwarf !"

"I already posted it on our class facebook page !" Sam cackles all the way to his room, while Dean tries to wraps his mind around the meaning of this. Surprisingly, he's kind of okay with it. He can see the way his dad is looking at them from the kitchen, and damn if he doesn't feel like going there and thank him for meddling.

"I guess I need to get ready, then." Castiel is still grumpy, frowning like a kitten on his shoulder, and Dean goes for another kiss, because he's too adorable not to. John's voice stops his thoughts from going too far away. His father is beet red and avoiding them altogether.

"Or you could stay with us tonight, Castiel. I'm sure Dean here would be okay with you spending the night. I could call your family ?" Dean thinks he'll make his dad's favorite tomorrow. And the day after. Hell, they'll all survive on potato casserole and chili this year.

"It would be nice, I guess ?" Cas is still half asleep, all warm and brain fuzzy.

"Then it's done. If you guys can set the table, I'll start the fireplace and we can all cook together." Castiel stretches, and Dean has the feeling this isn't just a high school fling. This is the beginning of something. Of more. Castiel is still squinting, clearly unhappy about having to stand up and face the rest of the day. Adorable little fuck.

"Hey Cas ?"

"Hmm ?"

"Merry Christmas."

**Author's Note:**

> And there it is. Less fluffy than the others, it's the last part of this christmas challenge. I honestly have been really happy to be part of this, and I feel blessed getting all these wonderful messages and feedbacks from all of you. 
> 
> I probably am going to find myself another one very soon, because the challenge of writing regularly, with a theme in mind had been a blast, and I hope you guys will follow me through it :)
> 
> Thank you again for every kudos, every comments, everything. I started this pretty sure it was a mistake, but now I'm ready to write more, and learn.
> 
> You can find me at : http://iwanttopizzamanyou.tumblr.com/ if you want to ask anything. I might even accept prompts, so fee free to send me an ask and chat for a bit.
> 
> Some parts of this challenge were tests, and I'll probably write more detailes stories about them, so don't hesitate to tell me if you feel like reading more about one of them.
> 
> Have a great year.


End file.
